The Cancer Diagnose

 

Sue, 2012

The doctor announced me with the horrific news that my test came back as cancerous. I was utterly shocked and devastated, it was as though the whole world had suddenly turned dark and it was slowly collapsing on me.  The doctor’s advice was to have a major operation as soon as possible; he said there was no other way of treating the cancer since it was a large area which had been affected. He told my husband and I to think about it and then booked another appointment for us to go back and discuss the surgery and procedures in detail. The only consolation was that the nurse confirmed the cancer was the non-malignant type.

As we got into our car I asked my husband whether I should have this operation which involved the surgeon cutting me open to remove the tumour, and then later slice some more meat from other parts of my body to cover it up. I personally thought that God would not let me go through this suffering, as it did not make sense to me at all. My husband’s answer was also ‘I don’t believe God will let you go through this’.  

We went home and prayed together; agreeing that we were going to believe in God to heal me supernaturally.  We have attended churches in the past which believed in God’s healing power and were taught many solid teachings from the Bible. I personally heard many testimonies of healing and God answering people’s prayers. I also experienced God’s healing and deliverance many times. I personally know a friend who had brain tumour and God healed her miraculously without having the operation. My mother-in-law also had been healed by God of her gum disease, in fact, she reminded me of her healing today (on 31st July 2011), she described she felt ‘fire’ sweeping across her jaws when the pastor prayed for her and she was healed.  I believe that God is not a respecter of person, therefore He would also heal me – Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. I was glad that we have attended faith churches which taught us many solid teachings on the Bible; otherwise we would have nothing to stand on or turn to in this devastating situation.

The week before I was diagnosed with cancer I had started going to a bible study group, I mentioned to them that I may have cancer, immediately this brother gave me a contact number of a person who went to his church-Carmel, she had cancer and was given just six months to live, but Jesus intervened and she is still alive! I rejoiced when I heard the testimony, this came at the right time to provide me with the encouragement and assurance that God was still at work healing people today. “He who keeps you will not slumber” (Psalm 121:3) isn’t it a relief that God neither sleeps or slumber and forgets us?!

I rang Carmel on the day of the diagnose and she gave me tremendous encouragement and support. She was in a much worst state than I was as she had stomach cancer which had spread to her lungs and the doctor’s verdict was that it was inoperable and she was given a death sentence by the doctor – only months to live. I thank God that He is full of compassion and He heard all the people who was praying for her in faith for healing. God had the last word, not the doctor who announced the death sentence! Carmel advised me to listen to some sound teachings and read books on healing. The same evening I emailed some of my family members and Christian friends for support and prayer, I requested them to stand with me and to believe that God would heal me miraculously. In the midst of such crisis, support and prayer from people means a lot.

I had anticipated that many of my friends and family would not agree with our decision of not having the operation. The majority of us put our trust in the world rather than in the hands of our Almighty God.  But I held on to the belief that God is still alive and at work,  He loves us and it is recorded in the Bible that Jesus Christ ministered and healed all who came to Him for help, therefore God would not ignore my cries because He is the same yesterday, today and forever, God never changes. Jesus is still alive today! Healing is in God’s plan of redemption, so it belongs to all of us. Many Christians receive revelation on the first part of our Lord’s redemption, but most of us fail to believe the other part of the healing redemption – they are both written in the Bible.

Surely our sicknesses he hath borne, and our pains — he hath carried them, and we — we have esteemed him plagued, Smitten of God, and afflicted. And he is pierced for our transgressions, Bruised for our iniquities, The chastisement of our peace is on him, And by his bruise there is healing to us.” (Isaiah 53: 4-5)

(Young’s Literal Translation)

I received several emails which opposed and challenged my decision; and some of my family members also did not approve with what they thought was a poor choice which could result in my early death if I did not take the doctor’s advice. Such emails and messages did not help me at all.  I was extremely saddened, depressed and troubled in my heart.  I was in my lowest point in life, facing potential death at the doorstep, but did not receive all the support which I needed. Nevertheless I continued to receive distressing emails condemning me that I have made the wrong decision, to the point where I find my self dreading to log into my emails. I had been accused of being taken into the occult and had been deceived by other people’s testimonies.

I asked myself this question: how difficult is it to stand with someone in agreement who has the faith to believe in God’s mighty power to heal? I was extremely distressed and deeply troubled, at one point I was wondering whether God would heal me supernaturally or would He rather use the surgeon’s hand to take out the cancer instead. I must admit, I wasn’t sure whether the little faith I had was sufficient to move God’s hand to perform miracles in my life. I was quite vulnerable and emotionally unstable. However, as I seek deeper into God’s promises and His Words in the Bible, He said to me “If you believe, all things are possible to him who believes” (Mark 9:23).

On 19th June 2011 my best friend sent me an email which moved me to tears .We have known each other for many years, she stated that though she did not agree with my decision, she would still respect my belief and support me. I was so thankful to God for her support, as it was the kind of support which I needed from all the people whom I have emailed to. I just wanted all of them to stand in agreement with me, so that I have the comfort to know that an army of people was standing and praying for me to help me win this battle.

At that point in time I was not afraid to die, since I knew where I was going – to a better place which was in heaven, forever in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ. However, the thought of leaving my husband behind, and also those family members and friends who still did not know Jesus our Saviour, gave me  a new surge of strength inside of me to fight the cancer. I knelt down on my knees crying out to God ‘I shall not die but live, and declare the works of the Lord’ (Psalm 118:17). I have decided that I was not going to be defeated by this cancer and I was certain that I would not die from it either and trusted God whole heartedly for His miraculous healing power to work on me.  

The majority chose to believe in the bad reports to be their final verdict, but I chose to believe in the report of the Lord – “Bless the Lord, O  my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquities, who HEALS all your diseases” (Psalm 103:1-3).

I read the bible and searched all the verses concerning healing, and confessing that I have been healed by God and thanking Him every day. The bible says in Proverbs 4:20 “My son, attend to my Words, incline your ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of you heart. For they are Life unto those that finds them and Health to all their flesh”. I believed that God’s words were medicine for me; therefore I have been listening to teachings on healing day and night for over a month, feeding on God’s Word to build up my faith. “Faith comes by hearing and hearing the Word of God” (Roman 10:7).

The more I hear God’s Word, the more I was convinced that healing was for me. In Luke 5:12 – “it came to pass, when Jesus was in a certain city, behold a man full of leprosy: who seeing Jesus fell on his face, and sought him, saying, Lord, if you will, you can make me clean. And Jesus put forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will: be you clean. And immediately the leprosy departed from him.”  

The bible says sickness is a curse and it has no right in my body, we as Christians have been redeemed from the curse of the law. Jesus has already paid the price on the cross for our sins and sickness – in 1 Peter 2:24 it states that “Who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness – by whose stripes you were healed” . This was a powerful revelation and I was comforted to know that God has done all the work on the cross for me – The last word He said on the cross was “It is finished”.  My Lord and Saviour has completed what He intended to accomplish on the cross for you and I, shedding His blood so that we may be saved and healed by believing and receiving Him as our Saviour.

We went to see the doctor and told him our decision. He asked me how I was planning to get well without the operation. I told him that I had been fasting every week and have started a new diet, and above all I believed God was healing me supernaturally. He then said to me that he was also a Christian, and asked why I thought God placed him in this job. I said to him, I thank God for doctors and surgeons, they are doing a marvellous job and I knew a friend who had recently undergone a surgery and it was successful, but this was entirely between her and the Lord.

I continue to confess on God’s words and promises on a daily basis, I thank my Lord Jesus for carrying me through my darkest hour, giving me peace, joy and strength every single day. He is a wonderful God and He is faithful to His Words, I would not have won the victory without Him, it is God who arms me with strength everyday. I had sharp pains in one area for many months, and also experienced another type of pain in the specific cancer area. The pain which I had for many months had disappeared within two week’s from when I started to seek God. The pain in the specific cancer area has also ceased substantially! The heaviness in the area also has disappeared completely! I know God already had started the healing process in my body.  I also know that many brothers and sisters (some of whom I don’t even know personally) have been praying for me, God listens to prayers – it’s a powerful tool and the devil hates it.  I thank God for my brothers and sisters-in-Christ who are still praying for me. I thank God for the rest of my dear friends who are still standing with me believing in God.  

Another powerful revelation is from Romans 8:11 -“But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwelled in you, he that raised up Christ Jesus from the dead shall give life also to your mortal bodies through his Spirit that dwelled in you.” The same spirit which raised Jesus from the grave is living in us!  

God taught me to put my trust in Him, and He also led me to focus on Him rather than on the problem itself. One of the names of our God is Jehovah Rapha“I am the Lord who heals you” (Exodus 15:26), isn’t this wonderful?  One of God’s name speaks of healing to us.  Another name of God is Jehovah Nissi“God my banner of victory” – My Lord has won the battle for me already!

One of the keys to healing is faith – it means to take God at His word and trust in Him. Faith releases God’s healing power. God spoke to me through Luke 8:48– “A woman had an issue of blood for twelve years and she has seen many physicians but they could do nothing about the disease, in fact, the bible says she suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. This woman touched Jesus’ garment and she was instantly healed. Jesus said to her “Daughter, be of good cheer, your faith has made you well, go in peace”. The bible says faith comes by hearing, and hearing the word of God – by reading and feeding on the bible constantly.

I went back to work a few week’s ago, my colleagues stated that it was good that I was being very positive. They didn’t know what was wrong with me but knew it was serious. The correct description should be that God has given me a ‘strong spirit’ – A man’s spirit sustains him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?” (Proverbs 18:14).

I experience occasional restless and sleepless nights, on 20th July 2011 I could not get to sleep and as I was getting extremely weary I heard God saying to me, ‘I am healing you’ repeatedly. It was incredibly comforting; I thank the Lord and then fell asleep.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27).

Some of you may not believe that Jesus is alive and He could heal me supernaturally; you may also doubt whether He actually speaks to me. Well, Jesus Christ being the son of God became flesh and He dwelled on the earth over 2000 years ago, yet most people at the time failed to believe He was the Messiah. You have the freedom to believe what you want to believe and hear what you want to hear. God gives us free wills and choice. But He is saying to you today ….I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19).

Jesus is the son of the living God and He was crucified for our sins and iniquities, He took our place on the cross so that you and I may not die to our sins but have eternal life. He has overcome death and has risen from the grave! “And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent” (John 17:3).

My confession remains the same -I believe God has healed me already!  I walk by faith and not by sight or how I feel (2 Corinthians 5:7).  I am calling ‘those things which do not exist as though they did’ (Romans 4:17), or rather, I am calling the cancer cells to cease existing in my body, and I command my body to be made whole in the Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

If after reading this you are still doubting God’s powers to heal me, I ask you not to speak to me or email me, but encourage you to tell God what you think and let Him speak to you personally.

If you have any sickness or disease which you need to be operated on, I pray that God would bless the hands of the surgeons who are going to operate on you.

If you have decided to trust God to perform miracles in your life, I would also stand with you in prayer for God’s hand to heal you, guiding you on the road to recovery and health.

1st December 2011

I give praises to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the Son of the most high God who gave His life away so that we may have eternal life.

The thought that I would never have the chance to go on holiday did occur to me several times when I was first diagnosed with cancer. The devil has put images in my mind that I would be bedridden and eventually die in the sickbed. However, the Lord has blessed my husband and I with a great holiday in October 2011. God is full of love, mercy and compassion and He is mindful of me. I give Him my adoration for He is good.

I have been experiencing pain from the cancer area quite frequently between July to October 2011, the most alarming pain which I experienced was the second day I went back to work from my holiday. The office was always busy but it was particularly hectic that week. From Tuesday to Friday the pain was quite sharp and no matter how much confession I made each day, it just wouldn’t go away. By Friday afternoon I got really fed-up and a little distressed, I said to myself, this pain has no right in my body, so I went to the ladies toilet and rebuked the pain and commanded it to go away in the Name of Jesus Christ. The sharp, excruciating pain left!

From October to the end of November 2011, after the above incident, I did have occasional pains around the cancer area, but it was not as alarming as before. People may ask me did I still believe in divine healing if I was feeling the pain in my body. Yes I did, I believe that my Lord Jesus has bore all of my sins and sickness on the cross so I no longer need to bear them. The Bible says in Mark 11:24, ‘Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.’ God said we must believe in healing first, before it manifest.

As the devil’s work is to steal, kill and to destroy people’s lives, he found all sorts of ways of attempting to destroy my faith in God and tried many tactics to make me depressed and to give up hope. I did get discouraged and felt depressed at times.

One day I saw a newspaper lying on my colleague’s desk, so I thought I would take a quick glance at it (I don’t normally read the newspaper), and on the front page it was a big heading which said, “Lowest Cancer Survival Rate in Britain”. I must admit, I was disturbed by this article and it dawned on me that there may be no hope for me after all. But I quickly got back in line with the Word of God (Isaiah 53:4, “Surely He has borne my sickness and carried my pain, by His stripes I am healed), and refused to believe and be moved by this report. I have the Holy Spirit who dwells in me and He is also the One who raised Christ from the grave!

Romans 8:11 -“But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwelled in you, he that raised up Christ Jesus from the dead shall give life also to your mortal bodies through his Spirit that dwelled in you.”

Another day my neighbour told me that someone she knew had cancer and was recently buried. Another person told me one of the pastor’s wife in his church had cancer many years ago, though she had the operation, the cancer came back again. I also know someone personally who had cancer three times in her life, each time she had taken the doctor’s advise.

My family informed me that they knew a Christian who also believed in divine healing, has been confessing the Word but later died of the same illness. My brother also described to me that one of his church member‘s sister also had been diagnosed with cancer, within just a few months the cancer quickly spread to the entire body, though she took all the recommended treatments, she later died.

A distant relative of mine, who was a medical doctor, had battled with cancer for quite sometime also died recently.

Other Incidents have also caused me to waver in my faith and to lose hope, I began to question whether I was actually pushing God to do something outside His will, and that I should be taking the professional advice from the consultants like everyone else. On the other hand, upon hearing the reports of the people who had listened to the consultants to have the operation and taking all the medicines and treatments prescribed, however, not all of them recovered well from it and some of their symptoms came back a few years later and some even died from the same illness. This made me wondered what my fate would be, who was I that I could overcome this illness which is feared world-wide and had killed numerous people.

As I continued to hear sermons on healing and seeking God for direction, reading books on prayer and fasting, I was more convinced that the God whom I have believed in for so many years is still alive and He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  There are many Scriptures quoting God’s healing promises, there are also many accounts in the New Testament which showed Jesus willingly healing the sick. In fact, Jesus spent most of the time preaching the gospel and healing the sick. He is carrying out the will of God, who is our heavenly Father:

One time one of Jesus’ disciple Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”

Jesus replied, “I have been with all of you for a long time. Don’t you know me yet, Philip? The person who has seen me has seen the Father. So how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? (John 14:9).

More than five years ago my thyroid level was abnormally high; I was prescribed medicines to take. I asked the consultant how long did I need to take these medicines before getting normal and better again. His reply was rather vague, he said to me that I might have to take it for a few years and I may get better, or I may have to take it for the rest of my life. Upon hearing this response I decided not to take the medicine and seek God for help instead. Even my husband was quite surprised that I had made such a bold decision.  For a good few months I was going swimming more than five times a week, I took high dosage of vitamin C and other anti-oxidant supplements, and above all I prayed and believed God for healing. I had schedule appointments to see my consultant and each time I saw him, the test results showed my thyroid level falling towards the normal level, and finally the consultant told me he didn’t need to see me anymore. I thank God that He had given me wisdom to use other means to get well.

The bible talks about ‘recovery’, instant healing do not always happen; it operates as the Spirit wills. There is a difference between a miracle and healing. I believe God is able to heal people instantly, however, as it did not happen to me straight away I must search what the bible has to say about healing, and continue to pray and confess the Word.

 The world says, “If I can’t feel it or see it, I cannot believe the miracle is here.” God says, “If you believe it before you feel it or see it, you will see your miracle.”  Believing first before seeing the evidence of what we believe is called faith. Did we not believe and confess before becoming the children of God?

 “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. “(Romans 10:9-10)

I had been fasting up to two times a week between June 2011-August 2011, allowing my body to rest and to get rid of toxins. After only two week’s fasting and seeking God, the sharp pain which I had in a certain area which bothered me for many months had disappeared totally and it never came back, I thank God that He has designed our complex body to allow it to mend itself naturally.

The most dramatic change in my eating habit since June 2011 was that I have been eating more fresh fruits and vegetables for lunch and dinner. I had also reviewed my eating habits during work – since I moved to my current office in December 2010 I had been using the microwave to cook instant noodles nearly every day for almost six months. I have now stopped using the microwave to heat up or cook anything since June 2011. In the past I have always avoided eating large amount of meat and now I am eating less than before.  

The Holy Spirit had led me to take the Holy Communion regularly since the beginning of August 2011, I believe there is healing and blessing in breaking the bread and drinking the wine in remembrance of our Lord. God confirmed this to me later as I was reading the Daily Grace by Joseph Prince on 26th August 2011, in which he stated that the early churches met up and took the Holy Communion on a daily basis, and that if you are sick you could be made well on a gradual basis.  I then began to take the Holy Communion every day, thanking God for the new covenant and for Jesus who died on the cross for my sins and sickness.  

I thank friends and family for emailing me and sending me information on the appropriate food and supplements to take for fighting cancer, I was well informed by them which food to avoid as well. My brother and sister-in-law was a constant provider of fresh vegetables from their garden throughout the summer. Other friends have kindly loan their precious books to me, some bought books and CDs for me to help me build up my faith in God and continue my walk to recovery. My bible study group has been giving me a lot of encouragement.

I tried to keep up with a healthy eating habit, and tried to take all the supplements every day. However, since I went back to work I found it extremely hard to follow the new diet.  Many times due to the nature of my job I have forgotten to take vitamins and supplements, and too often I go home too tired to cook a proper meal.

My dilemma in putting faith in the food entirely is that nowadays most farming methods use pesticides on their produces, and my opinion is that not all the food which are labelled ‘healthy’ are actually good for us. I personally feel that even I try hard to pursue a healthy diet; the food I consume might not be good for my body due to harmful effects of the pesticides or the genetic modified substances in most of the food they sell in the market today. But as I was reading the bible one day, it mentioned that God had ‘healed’ the bitter water so the Israelites could drink it (Exodus 15). I thank God that He has provided a solution for me, before our meals I always pray to God to sanctify the food for us and bless it into our bodies.

Ever since I went back to work from the sick leave I spent half hour during lunch time, sitting in my car listening to praise and worship music, it has been one of the source where I draw my strength from. The lyrics would touch my spirit and I would be pondering over certain songs which speak of Jesus’ sacrifice and love for me. Our Father in heaven gave up His one and only Son for the world, what an amazing love! I would also read the bible and pray for just a moment, giving thanks to Jesus. Within half an hour my spirit would be rejuvenated, my heart would be full of joy and filled with God’s strength, ready to get back to the frantic office life.

I thank God that most of my family and friends are still giving me support and are continually praying for me. Their continual prayer and support had made an impact in my life. It gives me comfort and encouragement to face my adverse situation.  When someone says to me “I am still praying for you” or “I am praying for you every day” it gives me the warmth and encouragement and I give thanks to our Lord. Whether they agreed with my decision or not, they had shown their support and I am grateful to them.

Fighting this battle to overcome the cancer has not been easy; many times I was emotionally and physically exhausted. If you know someone who has the same condition, I would advise you not to put more pressure on this person, whether you agree with them or not. Pray to God for wisdom in how to approach people with serious or terminal illness, as they are in their most vulnerable state.

The purpose of writing this testimony is to share with you how I am coping with cancer and my recovery journey by putting my faith in God, asking God to direct me on the road to recovery.  This sickness was a bombshell for my husband and I. I said to my manager upon return to work, “I know this could happen to anyone, but I never thought it would happen to me”. It was like a nightmare coming true. Nevertheless God has not forsaken me and I have been under His tender care constantly. As I look back on my darkest hours, there is no word adequately could describe my gratitude to the Lord. He was there with me every day, giving me joy, peace, love and strength. He is an amazing God!

I would like to encourage people who have cancer or any other illness not to lose hope. It is God’s will to heal everyone, whether through surgery, medicine, standing on God’s Word, or even a mixture of both. I decided not to have the operation and God had been faithful. I am not boasting how much faith I have, but the bible says, “If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you may say to this sycamore tree, ‘Be uprooted and be planted in the sea’, and it would obey you.” (Luke 17:6). Faith can move mountains. The woman with the issue of blood said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.” (Matthew 9.20-22). The woman actually believed and confessed to herself that she would be made well if she touched Jesus’ cloak. Jesus said to the woman, “your faith has made you well” (Luke 8:48).  

I understand that most of the people whom I have emailed to for prayer and support in June 2011 did not believe that God is still performing miracles today. The God who opened the eyes of the blind, who raised the dead, who healed all kinds of sickness and disease, who turned water into wine, who fed over 5000 people with only five loaves of bread and two fish seemed like a fictional story to them. I know some of them doubt very much that God would be healing me at all without surgery.  I felt like a fruitcake after seeing my consultant’s reaction when I said to him that I was believing God for healing. I saw on his face concerned mixed with unbelief, perplexity and a hint of grief that I did not accept his professional advice of having the operation. He told me previously he was a Christian, after hearing my response he said to me, “I think you have misinterpreted the bible”. My consultant had decided that there would be no need to see me again since I rejected his advice.

I thank God for wonderful doctors and nurses, who care genuinely for their patients and I believe God uses them to help people recover. As I have said earlier, my decision of not having the operation is between myself and God. When I looked back the very day when I was in the hospital having tests taken and was announced with cancer, I still remember the care and compassion which the nurses have shown towards me which gave me tremendous comfort, in such vulnerable times this compassionate attitude is extremely precious to anyone.

God has revealed to me some of the reasons why I had cancer – One of them being hurt by people in the past.  One recent event which hit me quite terribly was when I went through the restructuring at work which resulted in a pay reduction and the company had refused to pay for my long service increment. On top of this I was not being treated well. As I forgave the people whom I thought was being unfair to me, I felt an immediate weight being lifted from my chest and I thank God for this revelation.  

God also revealed to me that in the past I have made a few negative confessions, our words have power and I have talked myself into ill health. The bible says that:

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”  (Proverbs 18:21).

 The truth is that every word we speak has power — to build or to destroy hopes and dreams, to restore or cause loss, to heal or break the spirit, to bring delight or despair, to bless or curse.

I started lining my words up with God’s Word in order to release the power of His Word to work for me. I have continually been confessing healing and good health unto my body.

 “Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul, and health to the bones” (Proverbs 16.24).

I am so thankful that our Lord could not lie, and He has said this in the Bible:

“So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11).

6th March 2012

Today I am still alive and well in the Lord, I am under His tender care and I continue to take the Holy Communion on a daily basis.  The pain in the cancer area has eased a lot and I hardly notice the pain most of the time.  My family, friends, and people in my bible study group have been commenting how well I looked. I thank my Lord Jesus Christ, my Healer and Saviour for His finished work on the cross.

The bible says, “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. “(Hebrews 10:23).

God has no reason to tell us to hold fast, or hang on tight to our confession, unless someone or something, will be trying to get us to turn loose of it.

I thank the Lord that I am able to see flowers blossom again, and to hear birds orchestrating their symphonies. I also thank God that I was able to live to see my baby niece born to this world. There was a time where everything around me was darkness and the devil was attacking me from every direction; at one point I had anticipated going to heaven before my appointed time.

It has been a long and tough journey, but as I held on to God’s promises in the bible, I believe God is honouring my faith. I am also thankful for people who are still praying for me, remembering me and upholding me in their prayers. I thank my husband’s support and prayers which has been a tremendous blessing and strength throughout my recovery. I can not imagine going through this trauma without the support of friends and family. I am blessed that God is with me every single day; He has turned what the devil had intended to be an evil plan in my life into something positive. “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God – those whom he has called according to his plan.” (Romans 8:28).

Last year my nephew came to London and stayed with us for a few months, he has received Jesus Christ as his personal Saviour. My mum has been going to church for several years in Hong Kong and she has also given her life to Jesus Christ and she will be getting baptised in June!  The Lord has set my cousin free from Satan’s bondage of her ten years of panic attack, and she too, has also received Christ Jesus as her personal Saviour!

I praise God for His mighty and wonderful work in my family’s lives; He is a God who is full of mercy and compassion. A God whose heart is kind and would answer anyone who cries out to Him.

Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” (Psalm 50:15).

 

11th September 2012

Praise the Lord! He has been upholding me with His righteous right hand.  I have been recovering well since March 2012.  As the bible says Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.. (Psalm 31:24) The Lord is faithful.

I praise God that He has given us the Holy Spirit who teaches and guides us in line with God’s Word.  God’s medicine, like natural medicine, need to be taken in you in order to be effective. As I mentioned before, I had been listening to sermons on healing day and night. I wanted God’s Word to be part of me; I wanted to walk in divine health.

I soon realised I was only reading the bible from my head, the bible verse which says, “By His stripes we are healed”, merely was a head knowledge to me. One night in November 2011, the revelation that our Lord Jesus Christ has already bore my sickness on the cross has finally gone into my heart (spirit). It seemed like someone had suddenly turned on a light bulb in my head and my spirit instantly received the revelation of the finished work of my Saviour on the cross. I know at least four well respected preachers who said that too many people read the bible using their head instead of receiving God’s Word into their spirit.

I had been a little emotionally unstable and physically exhausted most of the time. I guess the shock of being diagnosed with such a horrendous illness took its toll and I needed time to recover from it.

An incident occurred at work which allowed me to experience God’s supernatural power.

In May 2012, I was seeing a client at the reception; he had a history for being a difficult client to deal with.  Initially he was quite co-operative but when we did not comply with him he pointed his fingers at me and started to shout at me, blaming me for everything which was going wrong in his life. I felt extremely annoyed with people like him, being verbally abusive and throwing his tempers at other people because he did not get what he wanted. As the client left the office my tears rolled down uncontrollably. The truth was I had been feeling extremely exhausted, having to live with the fact that I had cancer, and going to work everyday in this stressful environment. No one knew about my condition apart from my manager. My colleagues said I shouldn’t be upset with these nasty people. Little did they know I was actually feeling very sorry for myself for being diagnosed with this terrible illness.

I was having a pitiful party on my own; I could not control my tears as I was driving home. I kept asking the Lord why He had allowed this terrible illness to attack my body, and why did this not happen to people who have done many wicked things in their lives? I was quite bitter and upset.  

When I got home I randomly opened my bible and this bible verse ‘jumped’ at me, God spoke to me from one of the verses in the book of Joshua:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be dismayed: for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.  (Joshua 1:9)

God spoke to me like a loving father teaching his child to be strong, to get up on my feet and start walking again.  Each of these Words from the Bible spoke into my inner being.

What I have noticed from the day the Lord spoke to me through the Bible verse was I that felt much stronger both physically and emotionally! This was supernatural to me. The Lord, according to His wonderful promises in the bible, had strengthened me both spiritually and physically. Praise the Lord!

For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” (Hebrews 4:12)

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” (Psalm 27:14)

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

The Devil’s last Blow

I woke up in the early hour of one morning In July 2012 with an alarming pain in the cancer area, as well as struggling to breath. I was a little shaken and stressed out at first, as I hadn’t felt this much pain for a few months; it suddenly came back accompanied by an asthma attack.   I wanted to wake up my husband to pray for me, or to ring someone for prayer and support. However, I decided not to trouble anyone in this early hour of the morning. I decided to put my trust in God, for no matter what happens, God is with me all the time. I knew the devil was trying to put symptoms back in my body to attack me, but God says, “By His stripes you were healed!”, and “Resist the devil and he will flee from you”.

As I lay still on the bed, I saw a vision of myself in the sea, with fierce storm surrounding me and I was quite shaken, but then I saw my Lord Jesus nearby ready to rescue me if I fell. I was reminded of the instance when Peter was walking on water, and as he took his eyes off the Lord and focused on the storm and the wind instead, he began to sink, nevertheless our Lord quickly lifted him out of the water. Jesus is always nearby.

 The lyrics to the song ‘Cornerstone’ (from Hillsongs) came to my mind:

 “Christ alone, Cornerstone, weak made strong, in the Saviour’s love. Through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of all”

This vision not only has provided me with the assurance and comfort that the Lord Jesus was always nearby and I should not be afraid of the enemy’s attack, it has also given me tremendous encouragement and assurance during my other trails and when I fell into a depressive state of mind. There were times when I thought it would be easier just to give up and die. I know these thoughts were from the devil, as his plans are always towards death and destruction. I am grateful that Father God was upholding me and did not allow these thoughts to continue dwelling in my mind. How good is our God! My heart overwhelms with thankfulness to our Father in heaven.  

Majority of the people around me did not believe in divine healing, even Christians who have been going to church nearly all their lives. I searched the internet for testimonies of people who have been healed of cancer. I wanted to read testimonies of people who have been healed by God, what they went through and how they overcame it.  I needed encouragement of this sort. However, I did not find such testimonies which had given full details of how they recovered from their illness. This was one of the reasons I decided to write down my journal, and to provide recommendations on useful materials for people who are sick, hoping this would benefit someone in the future.

I found out very soon God wanted me to put my faith in His Word and to keep my eyes focus on Jesus and His finished work on the cross, and not to rely on other people for the sole source of help. God wanted me to fight a good fight of faith and to hold fast to my confession.

One day I came across Dodie Osteen’s book on “Healed of Cancer”. I would have been extremely encouraged and grateful if I was given this to read in 2011. I understood Dodie Osteen when she said she believed she had received healing but there was still symptom in her body, and it took a long time for it to go. She wrote, “In spite of every discouraging symptom, my heart knew God’s Word could not lie. I had confidence in God’s Word, if I hadn’t, I would have died.” How I agree with this statement! If I didn’t have God’s Word to stand on, I would have given up and died before my time. I was quite relieved to know that I wasn’t the only one who wavered and have occasional doubts in my mind; other people also have been tempted left, right and centre to give up the good fight of faith as well.

I live everyday like any other healthy person, despite the symptoms the devil may put in my body on a regular basis.  I rested in God’s unfailing Words.  God’s Word’s are unshakable. His grace is never ending.