I am not someone who would talk to anyone about my thought and emotions, but the Lord has impressed upon my heart to write down some of the things I had been through and to share this with people.
Is everything going to be ok?
When I first received the cancer diagnose no one had said to me, “Everything is going to be alright.” or “God is in control, it’s going to be ok”.
It was especially hurtful and discouraging to be criticized and condemned during this most vulnerable moment. I was categorized by someone as a coward and a fool because I did not want to have the operation. The constant harsh remarks I received almost made me wanting to give up hope and leave this world altogether.
Other people kept their opinions to themselves. Some disagreed with my decision but did not say too much. Only a few people supported my decision and stood by me.
I often wonder during that time, how were they going to pray for me when most of them didn’t believe in divine healing? Nevertheless, I believe God has heard the few people who prayed earnestly for me, and it had been God’s grace that carried me through my most difficult hours.
No Matter how gloom your situation maybe, or how big the storm you are facing right now, put your trust in the Lord Jesus Christ.
Everything will be OK. God is in control.
“Fear not; for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. “ (Isaiah 41:10)
“Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?” (Jeremiah 32:27)
Did You give me this cancer, O Lord?!
The answer is a definite no. The bible clearly states, “ The thief does not come except to steal, kill and to destroy; I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)
Satan is the author of sickness and destruction. God gives life and hope. God is love. One of His many name is Jehovah-Rapha –“I am the Lord who heals you” (John 3:16, Exodus 15:26 ).
Many people blame God for their sickness, tough times or disasters. Ignorantly they say things like, “God inflicts us so that we become a better person”, “This is the only way to bring you back to God”, or “God is telling you something.” Others who do not know what to say casually comment, “ God works in mysterious ways”, or “There is a purpose in this.”
Let me ask you something, would you push your child in front of a car to teach the child a lesson? Would you wish an incurable disease upon your child so that he or she would become a better person? I am certain that most parents wouldn’t dream of doing this even if they have the power to do so. Then why do you think that God would do such terrible thing to us?
Sickness and disease does not build up or strengthen the character of people. Countless people die and many are still living with terrible symptoms in their bodies. Sickness and disease could even rob people of carrying out the simplest tasks in life. How could God inflict us with horrendous diseases to win us over?! I would not be surprise to hear people cursing God if they believe in this lie.
If you are battling with a condition in your body, remember this, one of the characteristics of God is revealed in His name – “ I am the Lord who heals you” (Exodus 15:26)
“..you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day” (Genesis 50:19)
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
How long do I have?
“I don’t decide when you die, I’m not God.” This was the sensible answer from my consultant when I asked him the question. Quite right, no one decides when you die. The bible tells us that God wants us to live a long life.
“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him…with long life I will satisfy him, and show him my salvation.” Psalm 91:14-16
“Hear, my son, and receive my sayings, and the years of your life will be many.” Proverbs 4:10
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For by me your days will be multiplied, and years of life will be added to you.” Proverbs 9:11
“My son, do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands; for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you.” Proverbs 3:2
Bearer of Bad News
I was a little disturbed that not long after I received the cancer news from my consultant, my friends and family around me was constantly telling me that people they knew was dying from cancer.
“So and so had the same type of cancer and she died recently.”
“That sister had also trusted God like you but she passed away.”
“That film star died of cancer.”
“She was only thirty years old and she had a tumour and had just died.”
It seemed like all of a sudden people were dying from this disease and there was little hope if you have this condition. Even on the front page of a newspaper which I read the same year it quoted that people in Briton have the lowest cancer survival rate. News like this without additional uplifting words does not help the person who is trying to stay strong at all. It is like pouring a bucket of icy water onto them while they are standing outside in the snow.
Next time, in addition to the grim news you are sharing why don’t you also add,
“…But we know whom we trust, the Lord who heals us” (Exodus 15:26)
Or tell them what the Bible say:
“… Call upon Me and I will answer him, I will be with him in trouble and deliver him, with long life I will satisfy him..” (Psalm 91:14-16)
“ He Himself took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses.” (Mathew 8:17)
“For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds.” (Jeremiah 30:17)
During the first year of my recovery this question came up several times. I questioned myself whether I was such a wicked person that I should deserve this punishment. But then I thought, if this disease is due to people’s degree of wickedness, I could number a few people who would definitely fit into this category.
However, the crucial question was not ‘why me’, but “how do I get healed”. It is far better to focus on the solution rather than the negative and depressive thoughts. The Lord, however, has revealed to me that in the past I had made some bad confessions or spoke out negative words against myself. As the Bible says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” (Proverbs 18:21) The Bible also says that we are snared by the words of our mouth (Proverbs 6:2).
What you say will make a difference.
“Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea.’ And does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.” (Mark 11:22-23)
So put your words in line with the Bible, say “By His stripes I am healed.”, “I am more than conquerors in Christ Jesus.” “ I am getting better each day because Jesus still heals today.”
The devil will not stop attacking you until you know your place in Christ. I was so grateful I could go on holiday the same year that I had been diagnosed with cancer. This was a picture of myself being well and able to go out and do normal things, and not being bed bound or dying slowing in agony – a picture the devil put on my mind.
When fear grips me, I use the ‘Sword of the Spirit’ which is the Word of God to conqueror it. You see, the bible says, “the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds; casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalt itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)
You cannot see fear; you cannot physically fight fear. You need God’s assistance in overcoming certain conditions in life.
Next time when fear tries to attach itself to you, say,
“Fear, I rebuke you in Jesus’ name.”(Of course you need to be a Christian to use the Name of Jesus)
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2Timothy 1:7)
“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)
It is not an extraordinary fact that when someone goes through a serious illness, they would also experience depression to a certain degree.
I experienced two types of depression. The first type came with the shock of having cancer, having to face it and to fight it. There were times I wanted to give up when the pain became so severe and persistent. Yet the Lord sustained me. I continued to carry out the routine housework and going to work on a daily basis. The Word of God gave me tremendous strength and hope to overcome the fear and depression. When I felt despair and down, I rest myself in the Lord, laying still on my bed devoting my time listening to worship songs and teachings from the Bible on healing. It was amazing how rejuvenating it could be just depending on God’s goodness and resting in Him.
The other type of depression suddenly attacked me during November 2013. All of a sudden my heart would be overwhelmed by grief. I would feel extremely sad and hopeless; many times I wanted to cry my hearts out for no reason when this came upon me. I was puzzled and disturbed why this was happening to me. I asked two people to pray for me. One morning while I was praying the Lord showed me this psychic magazine that someone had given me, which I have put away and have forgotten all about it. The Lord told me that this was the cause of the depression. I immediately went to look for the magazine and threw it in the bin and then went out with my husband. But when arriving at the supermarket the depression fell upon me once again, I froze on the spot feeling helpless, confused and wanted to cry. It was a horrible feeling; you had no control over your emotions, there was so much grief in you. As we were driving home I was impressed to burn the magazine, which we did as soon as we reached home. Since then I have not had another attack, praise the Lord!
The second type of depression was more severe and it was spiritual. I ignorantly opened the door myself to let it attack me. As a child of the Most High God, we must be careful what we buy and what we accept from people. People who are giving you the gift may have no knowledge of the adverse effects it may have on you, they may have given it to you out of the goodness of their hearts. But spiritual things are as real as the natural things in this world.
“And you shall not bring an abominable thing into your house and become devoted to destruction like it. You shall utterly detest and abhor it, for it is devoted to destruction. “ (Deuteronomy 7:26)
“Being then God’s offspring, we ought not to think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and imagination of man. “ (Acts 17:29)
“The carved images of their gods you shall burn with fire. “(Deuteronomy 7:26)
“I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”(Psalms 34:4)
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Matthews 7:7)
This Name is used by many when they want to express their emotions, namely, anger, shock, grief. All of which are negative ones.
Only if they know the true meaning of His Name.
So, what is the meaning of the Name?
The New Testament was written in Greek, and the name “Jesus” means the same in Greek as the Hebrew name “Joshua.” “Joshua” means literally “God is Salvation”. That name tells us of Jesus’ purpose in God’s plan-that it is through Him that God saves humanity.
“Christ” comes from the Greek word Christos, meaning “anointed.” Its meaning is the same as the Hebrew word Messiah (John:1:41). They both mean “anointed” or “anointed one.”
“There is no other name …by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12)
Jesus Christ is the only way to God our Father in Heaven (2 Corinthians 5:21, Hebrews 1:3 )
He is the great “I AM”, the title God gave Himself in Exodus when appearing to Moses.(Exodus 3:14, John 8: 56-59).
Jesus used the same phrase “I AM” in seven declarations about Himself. In all seven, He combines I AM with tremendous metaphors, which express His saving relationship toward the world. All appear in the book of John. They are:
I AM the Bread of Life (John 6:35, 41, 48, 51)
I AM the Light of the World (John 8:12)
I AM the Door of the Sheep (John 10:7, 9)
I AM the Good Shepherd (John 10:11, 14)
I AM the Resurrection and the Life ( John 11:25)
I AM the Way, the Truth and the Life ( John 14:16)
I AM the True Vine (John 15:1, 5)
Next time when you’re tempted to shout His wonderful Name in vain, please also add,
Jesus Christ…….is Lord!!
Jesus Christ…….Glory to His Name!
“Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father”(Philippians 2:9-11).